Solo dads, we got you! Here’s living proof that solo dads are amazing. Today on the Solo Parent Podcast, we’re talking with Kevin Hellon Jr., founder and CEO of The Hellon Corp, Offstream Entertainment, and Life Skills Preparatory.
Kevin has raised a son whom he home-schooled and who works with him at Offstream Entertainment, and he is an amazing dad to a sparkling preteen girl. He was an integral part in the founding and development of Solo Parent Magazine, and he was raised by a solo dad himself. He’s been in law enforcement, developed major websites, owned several successful businesses, and counseled many business owners as they work toward realizing their dreams.
In this episode, Kevin speaks directly to the single, divorced, widowed, or military dads out there who are raising incredibly resilient kids.
In this episode, we talk about…
[2:02] Solo dads as role models for their children
Kevin was raised by a solo dad as well, and he was such an important influence on him and his siblings. Every day he saw his father doing everything from nurturing to disciplining. When Kevin had children, he knew exactly what he was supposed to do. He really identifies with being a parent and feeling connected to his children.
For Kevin, parenting is an immersive experience. He doesn’t compartmentalize his career versus his children. Rather, they are a part of his entire journey. While Kevin has had a flexible career, he has always had to ensure his lifestyle allowed him to be available for his kids.
[6:25] Finding balance as a solo parent
Kevin can certainly appreciate the balance that comes with two-parent households. When you are a solo dad, however, you have to pick up traits and play different roles. Fathers are often known to be strong, disciplined, and structured, but solo dads have to pick up some nurturing traits. Kevin shared that he needed to take on different skillsets because he couldn’t just be one-sided. He has had to open himself up and show a softer side as well.
[9:53] What Kevin would do differently if he could do it over again
While Kevin said it would be great to have a partner and raise children together, he is also proud of his parenting as a solo dad. He has been conscious of what he wanted to instill in his children. When his son was born, Kevin thought about what kind of man he wanted him to become and he would reverse engineer that along the way.
Kevin gave his children a lot of time and affection, and they have built a lot of trust and respect between the three of them. He shared that he would have loved to travel with his children more, but overall he is happy with his parenting experience so far.
[13:18] Having a plan for raising children
When Kevin says that he “reverse engineered” his parenting, that gives a lot of insight as to the big picture planning and intentionality that went into it. He points out that we make plans for things like vacations and businesses, but often we don’t go into parenting with a plan. As parents, we need to orchestrate the direction of our children’s lives.
For Kevin, it is definitely about big picture thinking and having a plan in place for instilling values. Then when he comes to a crossroad, he knows which paths will take him away from the plan he envisioned for his children and which ones will keep him in alignment with that plan.
[15:54] How technology has changed parenting
As a parent, Kevin has embraced technology. He knows there are parents who want to keep their kids in the generation they grew up in, but he thinks kids’ engagement iw different today. During the pandemic, technology was vital in keeping his daughter connected with her friends. They would have Netflix parties, FaceTime each other, and participate in group chats.
He would prefer that his daughter keep a balance where she is still face-to-face with her friends at school, birthday parties, and play dates, but he also recognizes the importance of technology and wants to teach her to incorporate it into her life responsibly.
[18:24] Discipline and consequences
When it comes to discipline, Kevin shared that he has never used spanking. He also acknowledges that he has a commanding presence, which can be helpful. For a consequence, however, he would not shy away from taking devices away. If children get out of line, taking something that they cherish can make an impact. He also noted that he might ask his children to write paragraphs about what they did wrong and how they could do better in the future.
Kevin also prioritizes making sure his children feel comfortable expressing their feelings and telling him about what is happening in their lives.
[22:11] Talking with children about what they see in the media
Although Kevin embraces his children’s use of technology, he is aware that his young daughter may have access to inappropriate media through that technology. He will watch videos with her and discuss what she should and shouldn’t follow. While he can’t keep her from the world, he wants to teach her to make good choices. If he tries to hide too much from her, she will be more likely to go after it.
[26:28] Dating and relationships as a solo dad
Early on with his son, Kevin was purposeful about remaining single. His focus was on running his businesses and raising his son, and he felt like he was at capacity with those things. He did get into another relationship when his son was around 10. With his daughter, she has only met one woman he was in a relationship with other than her mother in her life and she just turned 10.
As a solo dad, Kevin notes that your standards change as well. You’re definitely keeping in mind what is going to work for your children too. It’s not just yourself anymore – you have to think about the influence the person will have on your kids.
Find Kevin Online:
Hellon Corp Website: http://helloncorp.com/